Well the race is only a week away and this past month has flown by. Eeeek!
On Australia day I completed my last 10km race at Sorrento, with nearly 200 people looking to qualify for Rottnest, or test where they were at physically, it was another big mass start. I began much further back and avoided most of the first lap carnage which made me proud for sticking to a gameplan. The conditions were harder than Rockingham but I improved my time by 8 minutes. Not a lot in terms of time but I felt much better and far less beat up at the end.
I completed my last event 2 weeks later by doing a 5km event at Shorehaven beach following 4.5km the day before and 10km in the pool the day before that! This is pretty much when I took the foot off the pedal and lost my drive. I’ll end up roughly 25km short of the planned training distance. I’m told it’s common to feel a little burnt out but I really haven’t dealt with the feeling well as it too closely mimics depression!
Although I’ve avoided alcohol well, I’ve too frequently told myself the lie that “eating shitty food is all apart of keeping up my body fat”. I’ve had days where all I’ve consumed is lollies, coke zero and ice cream. Donuts, fish n chips and chocolate. Full binged mode, it feels like such an additive pit cycle. This has been the worst aspect of my preparation and one i’m praying doesn’t effect the result. On Thursday night I got out of the pool half way through the session frustrated with my arms burning and being out of breath, this morning was an improvement after eating clean the past 2 days already.
All I can do is keep making little decisions from now that help the chances of a successful crossing. This is really to simplest advice I would give to anyone who is struggling.
Forgive yourself and remember motivation leads to action which leads to motivation. So, when you are stuck, take a mini positive step, and another, and another, until you feel some momentum and motivation coming back.
Could I have done more or prioritised this effort more? Of course. Do I know I have done enough to finish? Yes. Will I? I really don’t know. My heart says 70% yes. It’s funny that one of the main appeals of this challenge was the uncertainty that can not be removed no matter how well the preparation, and yet, now the unknown is very challenging to sit with. I think deep down I have put myself in this position because I know It’s where we grow the most.
I also met up with Alex, my paddler this afternoon and we did a quick ocean dip with the kayak to practice that aspect and spoke about logistics on the day. I’m very grateful to have the team around me I do, they will give me so much confidence and drive i can already feel it. Kristen went ahead and made T-shirts for everyone who will be waiting for me at Rottnest, not embarrassing at all *sarcasm*. I will definitely be picturing these 3 waiting for me when I need a little extra boost!
There is another huge positive that just happened TODAY, thanks the Rachelle Spyker and her $200 donation I just reached my goal of raising $2500 for Livig.org !!! I would love to surpass that total if you would still like to contribute to this worthy cause. No matter how the day goes, I know I’ve done something positive for people in need and raised a little awareness for what it can be like to have mental health issues.
I want to thank everyone who has asked me how the training is going and about the pursuit of this goal. It has all kept me focused and motivated to keep pushing. If you would like to follow along next Saturday I will have someone posting to our facebook and instagram stories. Wish me luck!
Race wave C / Start Time 6.10am / Race number 138
